1 Timothy 5:3-16

We’re continuing our expositional series through 1 Timothy this morning, a series I’ve entitled, “Church Family Matters.”  What we’ve discovered is that Paul has given Timothy, this young pastor who has come in to lead an established church – Paul has given him some very practical advice for leading.  There are some marked problems that exist in this church and Paul has outlined what to confront and how to confront them. 

 We’ve discovered along the way that we are indeed a family – a spiritual family.  And our spiritual family matters.  Therefore, we should consider these same warnings and admonitions for ourselves. 

 This morning we will look at a rather lengthy passage of Scripture where Paul gives young pastor Timothy more advice for leading the church in Ephesus – addressing a very specific issue.  And the advice he gives in this section has to do with caring for the vulnerable in the congregation – namely, the widows. 

 You know one of the benefits of expositional preaching, where we go verse by verse through whole books of the Bible, is it forces us to study passages that we might typically pass over or neglect.  This is one of those passages.   This section of Scripture is the longest and most comprehensive treatment on our responsibility as the people of God to care for widows.  It may seem like an odd subject matter for a Sunday morning sermon, but in God’s providence, on this day, this is where we are in our verse-by-verse study.  I’m trusting God will take this truth from his word and make significant application in our hearts.

 Throughout the entire Bible God has placed a high value on the importance of caring for widows among the people of God. In fact, the Bible says that God himself takes special interest in the plight of widows. 

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

The Lord tears down the house of the proud but maintains the widow’s boundaries.  

 But the means God uses to protect and maintain widows is often his own people.  That’s why we’re given these instructions throughout the Bible:

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. Isaiah 1:17

Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow. Jeremiah 22:3

 I could show you many more verses this morning throughout the Bible that discuss our commission to care for the vulnerable among us.  Jesus, in particular, demonstrated this kind of care.

 In Mark 12 we have the account of Jesus observing how many rich people were coming to the Temple and putting in large sums of money.  But Jesus honored the poor widow who only put in a couple pennies.  He said, “This poor widow has put in more than everyone else combined.  They gave out of their surplus, she gave all that she had.”

 In Luke 7 there is the account of Jesus and his disciples coming into a particular town and as they arrived they happened upon a large crowd.  The large crowd was a funeral procession for a man who had died.  He was the only son of his mother, who was a widow.  Here’s the deal – in that culture a widow was dependent upon her sons to care for her and supply her needs.  If her only son died, she would be completely destitute.  Notice how Jesus responded to this scene:

¹³And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” ¹⁴Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” ¹⁵And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. Luke 7:13-15 

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

 Caring for widows in the church is a distinct Christian ethic.  Let’s read Paul’s instruction to Timothy on the matter and see what we might glean from God’s word this morning for our own edification and encouragement.

³Honor widows who are truly widows. ⁴But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. ⁵She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, ⁶but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. ⁷Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. ⁸But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

⁹Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, ¹⁰and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. ¹¹But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry ¹²and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. ¹³Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. ¹⁴So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. ¹⁵For some have already strayed after Satan. ¹⁶If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

So too with this church in Ephesus.  It seems the roster of widows that were receiving assistance from the church had swollen and become so large that perhaps much of their resources were being consumed through this widows’ ministry.  Now to be sure, there is the overarching Biblical principle that we as the people of God are to care for widows in their need. I went through great length in the introduction of the message to illustrate that point. But there is also the biblical value and principle that we are to be good stewards of the resources God has entrusted to us.  In this text Paul gives some guidelines for Timothy to implement that will bring balance to these two biblical ideals.

I. CARE For Those In A Desperate CONDITION

Honor widows who are truly widows. Circle those two words on your outline “truly widows.” Paul uses that two-word phrase on 3 occasions in this passage.  In verse 3 that we just read; again in verse 5 – She who is truly a widow… And then the last sentence of this passage in verse 16: Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

The indication is that Paul is telling Timothy there is a process that must be implemented whereby you can identify the condition of those widows who really desperately need the help, hence the words “those who are TRULY widows.”

widow:

vidua. Another English word that comes from vidua is void or devoid. 

Honor those who are widows indeed.

So what does it mean to “honor” the truly desperate widow?  Does that mean simply show respect? I think it’s clear from the context of this passage that it is more than having respectful feelings toward them.  I used the words “care for” – but even “care for” could be construed as just having nice feelings. It involves some material form of honor; meeting physical needs in addition to providing emotional support. 

The bottom line is this: the way we treat the destitute widow will be a clear revealer of the character of our Christian community; the character of our church. Our devotion to Christ will be evident in how we treat those in our church family without any physical resources – those Paul refers to as “truly widows.” Those who are without resource.  So HOW do we identify who the truly widows are?  That leads to my next point this morning…

II. CLARIFY The Role Of CHILDREN

The first place Paul goes when discussing the process of identifying those who the church should assist is to clarify the role of children in all of this. Namely, the children of those widows who are seeking assistance.

⁴But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 

That’s why I have 5 children who I encourage to have many children – so there will be plenty of people to take care of Amy and I when we’re old and decrepit. But the principle that Paul is setting up here is that family members are the first line of defense and care for those who are in need. 

I think I’ve told you before, when people stop by the church and ask for financial assistance – which is about on a weekly basis – the first question I ask is, “Where is your family.”  I ask about parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, children, aunts, uncles.  And I tell them, your family, your relatives are the people who are primarily responsible for your care.  Inevitably, the person asking for assistance has no contact with them or has been completely cut off or estranged from all family members.

learn to show godliness.”

“It is easier for one poor woman to provide for 10 children than for 10 rich children to provide for one poor woman.” children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents

       You can never fully repay them for all they’ve done for you, but you can make SOME return to them by caring for them in their old age.  And in case you were thinking about NOT taking care of your parents in their old age, Paul says you must not be a Christian.  Look again at verse 8:

⁸But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

In Roman times the average Roman took care of his family.  And for professing believers to do less than that and to relegate the responsibility of caring for them to the church was denying the faith and acting worse than the typical pagan Roman citizen– who makes no profession of faith in Jesus.

Christian children are responsible for the care of their parents and grandparents. The difference today is there are all kinds of social nets to help care for them: social security; retirement benefits; 401K plans, investments, reverse mortgage.  But even with those cultural nets the weight and onus of responsibility is still on the children, on the family members.  And even if there are social nets that provide financially for destitute family members, that in no way excuses emotional separation from them.   And so geriatric wards in nursing homes are filled with aging people who never receive a call or visit from their family members.  That is worse than an unbeliever and denying the faith.

²⁶When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” ²⁷Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

This shows the importance of the issue of caring for widows.  Jesus made seven statements from the cross that are recorded in Scripture.  Only two of those were made to individuals.  One was to a dying thief hanging beside him who trusted in the Kingship of Jesus; and the other was in the arrangement of the care for his widowed mother. I don’t think anything so clearly reveals the heart of God like that.  While bearing the burden of sin Jesus’ mind was concerned with the salvation of one sinner and the care of one widow – his mother.

So family serves as the first line of defense in the care of widows.  So does that mean that every other widow then receives assistance from the church? Paul says, “not so fast.”  Which leads to my third point this morning…

III. CONSIDER Qualifications Of CONCERN

There are other qualifications to consider when determining who to provide assistance to as a church.  This may sound odd to our ears at first, but again, we have these two principles that we must keep in balance: caring for those who are in need and stewarding well the resources God has given to us.

About a year ago someone called the church and asked to speak to the pastor. Typically when someone calls asking to speak to “the pastor” and doesn’t ask for me by name, it’s a salesmen or someone seeking financial assistance.  I accepted the call and a woman on the other end of the phone began to tell me that she was in a desperate situation, she was jobless, her rent was due, her and her 2 children faced eviction from their apartment.  I asked her, “Do you live in our community here in Lookout Valley?” She said, “Why does that matter?” I said, “Because if you live in some other part of Chattanooga there may be another church that could help meet not only your physical needs but your spiritual needs as well.”  She said, “I don’t live in Chattanooga – I live in Nashville.”  I said, “Why in the world are you calling a church that is 2 hours away asking for help?”  She said, “Isn’t that what churches are supposed to do – help people?!” Then she hung up the phone on me.

She was very offended that a pastor of a Christian church would seek to consider some form of qualification about the help we provided for people.  Well if you have that kind of idea, that the church is a benevolence organization that should provide financial help for anyone and everyone without qualification, prepare to be offended by Paul. Because he outlines three qualifications for which we should concern ourselves.  First…

A. Her SPIRITUALITY

⁵She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, ⁶but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 

What does it mean to be dead even when you live?  It means you are physically alive yet spiritually dead.  You haven’t been born again, you’re not a Christian. Some commentators think what this indicates is that there were some widows who were on the assistance roster of the Ephesian church who were not even Christians – much less members of the church. 

Additionally, Paul points out that those who are “truly widows” are those who have their hope set on God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day.   These women are the prayer warriors of the church.  And might I say there is nothing as vital and important and of greater value than to have faithful widows praying for the church; who have their hope set on God who are constantly praying for the needs in the body of Christ.  

Why would widows particularly be given to hoping in God and continual prayer? Dire circumstances like severe financial need and personal loneliness would accelerate one’s dependence upon God; it would deepen her faith in God.  That’s why Paul identifies the spiritual aspect as a mark of the “truly widows.” Consider her spirituality, secondly… consider

B. Her SENIORITY

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, 

Now on first glance that seem like something of an arbitrary qualification for being on the widows roll – “If she’s under 60, cut off the financial support.” There’s a couple things to consider here. 

First, 2000 years ago when this was written, the life expectancy was much lower than it is today.  In the Roman Empire, 50% of the people born died before the age of 10 – 50%! If you lived to the age of 10, your anticipated life expectancy was between 45-47 years old. As a 45 year old man, I’m thankful we are not in Roman times. So a 60 year old woman would have been rare.  Additionally, 60 seems to be an age of veneration or special consideration in the Levitical Law of the OT, and that may have played into Paul’s thinking. 

But I think the primary idea around this age requirement is because a 60 year old woman would not generally be as inclined to seeking remarriage and the fulfillment that comes from domestic opportunities.  Thus it would prevent future conflicts or disturbances if a widow on the roster of assistance did get married.  Additionally, there may be in view here the idea of preventing sexual immorality. 

This may be something of Paul’s motivation here for the age limit.  If a widow is still of marrying age and has the desire to be with a husband, but if so doing would remove her from the assistance roster at church, she may move toward sexual immorality in order to keep the assistance coming.  Bazaar scenario, but read verses 11-14 with that in mind:

¹¹But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry ¹²and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. ¹³Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. ¹⁴So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. 

And Paul is not just speaking hypothetically here – this was an issue that was going on in the church in Ephesus so he gives guidelines for Timothy to implement in order to correct these things.  So he says Timothy:

Consider her spirituality – is she even a Christian, is she passionately pursuing Christ; Consider her seniority. The third qualification to consider…

C. Her SERVICE

¹⁰and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 

The term “Good works” is mentioned at the beginning and end of this verse, serving kind of like the bun that holds the meat in the middle.  That meat in the middle is four examples of what this good works, this faithful service should look like. 

First – brought up children. In other words she performed her duties as a mother and as a wife honorably.  She has successfully fulfilled the highest responsibility given to her by God – to raise her children.

Second – she has shown hospitality. This too shows her responsibility as “matron of the house.” She has cared for those traveling believers who needed a place to stay and in this way she extended the mission and ministry of the church in her own home.

Third – she has washed the feet of the saints.  The term “saints” is used in the NT to refer to all Christians, not just a special class of Christians.  This phrase does not mean that she necessarily did the physical act of washing church members’ feet, but it’s metaphorical to describe the humble, selfless service she rendered to believers in the congregation in Ephesus.

Finally – she has cared for the afflicted. There are always those in the Christian community who have experienced loss and tragedy.  The “truly widow” is one who provides comfort and relief from the pressures that those losses bring.  She cares for the afflicted.

So Paul lays out some very practical considerations for Timothy to consider in his specific situation in Ephesus. 

Now after hearing all this today, you may be thinking “So What?” So What does this mean for me as an individual Christian and how does it apply to us congregationally?

One Last Thought: God’s special love and care for widows must be REFLECTED  in the actions of His people.